Moby-Dick (Bantam Classics) - Herman Melville

The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us. But being paid, - what will compare with it? The urbane activity with which a man receives money is really marvelous, considering that we so earnestly believe money to be the root of all earthly ills, and that on no account can a monied man enter heaven. Ah! how cheerfully we consign ourselves to perdition!

 

Bravo, sir. I did indeed Laugh Out Loud. The next 700 pages look a bit more promising now.

 

P.S. I posted too soon. The rest of the paragraph got better. :P